Dresden Dolls=Awesome

[platedlizard]

Dear Little Sister,

Next time your Big Sister buys you a fucking ticket to the best band in town you WILL go, no if ands or buts. No, I don't care if you are tired. I don't care if you worked today (guess what, SO DID I!!), I don't care if you got to go to school at 6am tomorrow. The next time the Dresden Dolls are in town YOU ARE GOING. Even if I have to kidnap you.

Love, Your Big Sister.

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Dear fellow Dresden Doll fans,

I know that this is Portland, but please, for the love of God, leave the fucking backbacks and messenger bags home. This was my first concert EVER and even I knew to leave my usual 20lbs of stuff at home. And also, when you go to a concert in a place that has a spring-floor, please fucking use it.

Thanks, Fellow Portlander, Platedlizard

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Dear Cute Gay Couple,

I am very sorry I kept bumping into you. You were very cute, but I am not a Fag Hag. I was drunk. So sorry. You were very understanding and nice.

Thanks, Drunk Girl In Leather Coat.

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Dear Middle-Aged Couple,

Thank you for alerting me to the fact that I was crashing into you repeatedly. I'm sure I was most annoying, but you were very nice about it. I was drunk, but that is no excuse. The band was great, wasn't it?

Love, The Drunk Girl

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Dear Geeky-looking Dancing Guy,

Why the hell didn't you ask me to dance? I saw you looking at me. For that matter, why the hell didn't I ask YOU to dance? I like geeks.

Dance With Me Baby, The Leather-Coated Girl With The Annarchy T-shirt.

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Dear All the people I Hit With My Purse,

Aren't you glad I left my messenger bag home? It could have been much worse.

Loves and Kisses, Me.

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Dear Dresden Dolls,

I'll have sex with you, any time you want. Just call.

Love, Me.

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Dear Feet,

So sorry, I'll make it up to you by wearing sneakers tomorrow at work. Those high heels were cute but a bitch weren't they?

Love, The Rest of You.

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Dear Gillian,

As my newest character you get to go on stage with a Dresden Doll-like group. No, I don't care if you are body-shy because of your rainbow-colored wings. I don't care if there is a dirty old rich man who wants you back so he can get his money's worth. I don't care if you hate crowds or attention. You are going onstage, and That Is Final.

Love, Your Author.