Important life lessons!
Sep. 4th, 2008 10:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
platedlizardThings I learned from my patients. No, not MY patients, alas (although today's lesson was Let The Baby Teeth Fall Out On Their Own Or Have The Dentist Pull Them. Do Not Attempt Pulling Them Out Yourself, Your Child Will Hate You). These are student doctors sharing their ER stories.
Well another professor of life came through last night and bestowed some wisdom on me which I'll share. No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your scrotum and shove razor blades up your urethra. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's not a good idea.
1. When cleaning a swimming pool with Muriatic acid, if you splash a large amount of it on your face and arms, vinegar is not a good neutralizing solution.
2. Never, Never, for the love of God, let someone with chest pain use the bathroom.
3. If you own a horse named thunder, flash, psycho, or reaper, do not get within 20 feet, and don't even think of just taking them for a quick ride.
That last one sounds like it's from Fugly Horse of the Day. There's a reason why some horses get named like that!
Unfortuantely I can beat that.....In Australia I saw a 38 year old GREATgrandmother. She was there with her 12 year old grandchild who was about to give birth. The grandmother was too drunk to come in, she was 25. When I first saw the 12 year old with her big belly I thought she had asistes and said to one of the attending--"oh, that poor kid with liver failure, why do they have her on the maternity ward!"
Oh if you come in with a salsa jar in your rectum, don't give the staff a fruit cake as a thank you present.
You can not make this stuff up!
/aside: I do know a 27 year old 'grandmother', but she calls herself that because she's in a very close relationship with a 50 something year old man. She isn't the biological grandmother, thank you Lord Aizen.
The sharps container is an excellent source for needles. But for most efficient use, please be sure to rip it off the wall and shoot up in your bed *only* when the nurse isnt behind your neighbors curtain.
If you are 15 year old G3P0, cocaine is an excellent inducer of preterm labor.
/another aide: Apparently leaving a full large brown paper bag ON THE FLOOR IN A PET STORE (that happens to have a vet attached) is an EXCELLENT way to get rid of used needles, and is perfectly safe. Sharps container, what's that?! (Good thing I wasn't stuck picking that thing up. I had NO FUCKING CLUE what was in it until I put it on the counter and opened the bag. Holy fuck.)
And it goes on. lulz
Well another professor of life came through last night and bestowed some wisdom on me which I'll share. No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your scrotum and shove razor blades up your urethra. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's not a good idea.
1. When cleaning a swimming pool with Muriatic acid, if you splash a large amount of it on your face and arms, vinegar is not a good neutralizing solution.
2. Never, Never, for the love of God, let someone with chest pain use the bathroom.
3. If you own a horse named thunder, flash, psycho, or reaper, do not get within 20 feet, and don't even think of just taking them for a quick ride.
That last one sounds like it's from Fugly Horse of the Day. There's a reason why some horses get named like that!
Unfortuantely I can beat that.....In Australia I saw a 38 year old GREATgrandmother. She was there with her 12 year old grandchild who was about to give birth. The grandmother was too drunk to come in, she was 25. When I first saw the 12 year old with her big belly I thought she had asistes and said to one of the attending--"oh, that poor kid with liver failure, why do they have her on the maternity ward!"
Oh if you come in with a salsa jar in your rectum, don't give the staff a fruit cake as a thank you present.
You can not make this stuff up!
/aside: I do know a 27 year old 'grandmother', but she calls herself that because she's in a very close relationship with a 50 something year old man. She isn't the biological grandmother, thank you Lord Aizen.
The sharps container is an excellent source for needles. But for most efficient use, please be sure to rip it off the wall and shoot up in your bed *only* when the nurse isnt behind your neighbors curtain.
If you are 15 year old G3P0, cocaine is an excellent inducer of preterm labor.
/another aide: Apparently leaving a full large brown paper bag ON THE FLOOR IN A PET STORE (that happens to have a vet attached) is an EXCELLENT way to get rid of used needles, and is perfectly safe. Sharps container, what's that?! (Good thing I wasn't stuck picking that thing up. I had NO FUCKING CLUE what was in it until I put it on the counter and opened the bag. Holy fuck.)
And it goes on. lulz
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-05 01:19 pm (UTC)How've you been? :)
That's how I felt when I was rooting around the wash. machine hauling out Chris's clothes and found
Grandma Latchaw said that she was sorry that she was sick and when you are up next,to simply pop in for a few minutes and say and then go.
I meant to say 'hi!' then go.
Date: 2008-09-08 02:53 am (UTC)